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The content on this blog is my intellectual property. You are welcome to quote from this blog, but please make sure you cite the source specifically with a link to the original content.(本部落格的內容是我的智慧財產;歡迎轉載、引用,惟請明確註明出處並附上原始內容連結。)

下面這封推薦信是我去年底幫我康橋(KCBS, Kang Chiao Bilingual School)的學生 Brian 寫的,他今年會追隨他哥哥的腳步申請進美國的大學就讀。信裡提到,雖然他課業和考試成績並不是頂傑出,但他的優點是他那非凡的想像力;另外,他擁有孜孜不倦的活力和「貪得無厭」的好奇──這些經常是成功者最重要的特質。在寫出這樣的 thesis statement(主題論述)之後,我接著提出一個具體的例子支持我的主題──沒有用很制式的轉承詞(transitional words and phrases)就很自然地進入舉例的部分(“One day, when I was...”)。所謂文章的 coherence(前後連貫)當如是簡單,各位不用把它想得太複雜,請回歸它的本質:「合乎邏輯的發展」──動詞 cohere 源自拉丁文 cohaerere,由字首 co- 'together' 和字群 haerere 'to stick' 組成,中心意象黏在一起」,因而「(文章)前後接著得很好」;英文裡其他構字中含字群 here 及 hes(其變化型)的一些重要單字有 adhere (adherent, adherence)、inherent (inhere, inherence)、cohesion (cohesive) 與 hesitate(hesitation, hesitant──以致於礙手礙腳,因而「猶豫;遲疑」)

嚴格說起來,我這篇文章只舉了一個例子(以對話呈現)──聽起來雖然不太夠,但重點是這個例子有發展完整(fully developed)。各位如果考 SAT(或 ACT),作文部分我有這樣的建議:例子不要強調舉得多,而要著重每個舉出的例子都用了充分的字數發展完全。每個 body paragraph(常翻成「中間段」)只給一個例子但有好好講清楚全貌並明白表現此例如何支持該段的 topic sentence(常翻成「主題句」),這樣比每段丟出三個例子卻都只蜻蜓點水地帶過來得強多了(也比較容易,因為有時候要在時間壓力下想到很多可舉的例子也很困難);您的讀者也會比較偏好前者,因為三個力道不夠的例子不會讓讀者印象深刻,反而給他/她們雜亂的感覺。再者,這樣「重質不重量」的舉例策略其實對字數寫多是比較有助益的。SAT(或 ACT)作文官方沒有明確表示「字數愈多,分數愈高」,但根據資料數據、考生經驗(包含我自己的考試經驗)看來,兩者的相關性依然達到統計上的顯著意義(statistical significance)──to put it simply, the two are highly correlated──這點和托福作文不太一樣(托福寫作達到其規定的字數後,再特別衝字數對分數不會有太大幫助)。因此,SAT(或 ACT)作文要高分,就要寫得夠多(當然,也要言之有物)──具體說來,想拿到高分(10 以上,SAT 和 ACT 作文總成績是 2~12 分(含 0 分),由兩位評分員以 1~6 的分數給分並加總起來),要寫到兩頁滿。把舉出的例子發展完整是字數提升的關鍵。以我這篇文章為例,發展好唯一的例子就有 240 字了;依此模式,SAT(或 ACT)實戰中各位可以寫兩段中間段,每個都只寫一個發展完全的例子,配上開頭(introduction)和結尾(conclusion)要兩頁滿是綽綽有餘了。專心發展一個例子還有一個好處:比較不容易打結、停頓(因為要寫的東西很明確)──在時間壓力下這很可貴。

各位剛好也可以在這封推薦信的對話中瞥見我教學風格的一些面向──誠如我的 profile 那篇文章中提及的,教學風格活潑,強烈並直覺地訴諸學生的想像力」。我蠻喜歡信中的這個句子:“The best moments in a teacher’s career are when students actively imbibe what you’ve taught them and even draw interesting inferences from it.”(教師職涯中最棒的時刻就是當學生主動地吸收了你教導她/他們的東西,甚至從中作出有趣的延伸推斷。To me, teaching is in every sense a sacred profession.(於我而言,教職毋寧是神聖的。)Education,教育,應當回歸它的靈魂、這個字的詞源:字首 e(x)- 'out' 和拉丁文字群 ducere 'to lead',引導出來──教育是要引導出一個人最美好、最高貴的部分,不論是潛能抑或價值」。一位老師如果本身治學不嚴謹、對知識不求甚解,那他/她頂多僅能「填塞」(畢竟他/她自己的學習方式便是如此),但無法「誘發」(一知半解的東西是無法從根本上去啟發另一個人的);相反地,對生命與真知灼見的熱情、對知識無止盡地追尋的大無畏的恆心則造就了真正的教育者、真正體現教育之初衷的老師──她/他不僅能帶給學生分數(有了透徹的理解,學生想考不好也難),更能在學生心中種下各種想法、意象、感動、感觸──一些超越言語的悸動──這些種子會成長茁壯,開花結果(Henry Adams 說過,“A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.”)。

真正的知識本就包含生命的美麗與謎底

現在,請各位讀讀這封推薦信。


To whom it may concern, 

I feel utterly privileged1 to recommend Yang-Che for matriculation2 at your illustrious institution. A promising young talent, he has exhibited, from my point of view as his English teacher, something remarkable in himself: an exceptional imagination.

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Bonsoir, my dear folks. This is me, Teacher Dean. I want to share with you today a piece of gem in English literature: James Joyce’s Araby, the third of the fifteen short stories in his 1914 collection, Dubliners. It is an utter privilege to read to you this beautiful tale of a youthful passion, a young man’s romantic idealization of a girl, and the subsequent disillusionment and epiphany, the kind of feelings which we all, irrespective of gender, must have gone through at one time or another during our lives. I want you to get comfy and feel, with your aesthetic sensibilities, the subtle rhythm of words, the sensation of which has mesmerized me ever since I fell in love with letters.

Ready? Here goes the story …

Dubliners    

晚安,各位。是我,Dean 老師。今天我想和您們分享英語文學中的一塊瑰寶:詹姆斯喬伊斯的《阿拉比》。他 1914 年出版的短篇小說集《都柏林人》總共收錄了 15 篇故事,《阿拉比》是其中的第三篇。很榮幸能為您們朗讀這美麗的故事,關於一份年少的熱情、一位少年對一名女孩浪漫的理想化以及那隨之而來的幻滅和頓悟──不論女男,我們想必都在人生的某個時刻經歷過這類感受。我希望您們能舒服下來,用您們對美的感性去意會文字那微妙的律動──自我愛上文學以來,對那脈動的感應一直令我深深著迷。

準備好了嗎?故事開始了


 

Araby

North Richmond Street, being blind, was a quiet street except at the hour when the Christian Brothers' School set the boys free. An uninhabited house of two storeys stood at the blind end, detached from its neighbours in a square ground. The other houses of the street, conscious of decent lives within them, gazed at one another with brown imperturbable faces.

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Sam from BIME, NTU  

Sam 本身是全職考生,在跟我上課之前,他考過一次托福 iBT(83 分),並未達到申請門檻;後來我們開始上課,他非常認真──回去後的作業、複習和課堂所學統整都做得非常踏實(全職考生的身分讓他能夠專心準備,也算是有幫助)──因此吸收良好,再去考時果然不負我們的期許達到了目標,一次就到位他一知道成績就興奮地跑來當面跟我說這個好消息,而我聽到後也雀躍不已──this is definitely one of the most rewarding moments a teacher can have!

《麥田捕手(The Catcher in the Rye)》1的語彙來說,We had a helluva swell ride together! 我特別記得,有一次我們在討論口說第一題「最喜歡的書」、「影響你最深的書」這類同質性問題的回答方式時,他提到他想用熱力學參考書來作答的事:Sam畢業於台大生機系──一個綜合生物、機械、電子等領域的有趣系所──因此修過熱力學的課。學,thermodynamics,由兩個來自希臘文的字群組成,thermē 'heat'2(熱)和 dunamis 'power'3(力量)。Sam said he was rather fascinated by the idea of the conservation of energythat is, energy can be neither created nor destroyed; it only changes its form. 而且,他把能量守恆」的物理意涵延展到人生上──「一個人所施出的努力(能量)是不會消滅的」,他如是領悟到。這樣的想法十分有見地,極具個人特色,若能表達流暢這類口說題一定高分,當下我便和他雕琢出令人滿意的 response。

收到他寫給我的這張感謝函後,我用手機傳了簡訊給他。依稀記得訊息的結尾我這樣鼓勵他,「Always remember what thermodynamics has taught us: No work done shall be in vain. Sam,我以你為傲。好好出國學習,回來後,對我們的這個世界作出你那份『功』。

沒有一分努力是會白費的。」我特別喜歡原句對 "work" 這個單字的雙關運用──一般意義上,它是「勞動」,因而不難聯想到「努力」;而在物理的範疇中,它是所謂的「功」(對一個物體作功,白話來說,就是給予它能量)。這樣看來,這句子真是 Sam 那番領悟的美好總結,我也在他的成功看到這句話的具現。現在,我也想把它送給各位(我想 Sam 應該不會反對 XD):

No work done shall be in vain! We are what we do!


Footnotes-

1.《麥田捕手(The Catcher in the Rye)》,沙林傑(J. D. Salinger)1951 年出版的長篇小說。在以英語寫成的世界名著中,它算是比較平易近人的,僅需中級的英文程度便能讀懂(如果我們把英語經典文學小說原文本的難度粗淺地分為「中級」和「高級」的話),因此推薦給各位讀者。我自己擁有的原文本封面長這樣(下圖左):

  The Catcher in the Rye  麥田捕手  

若想享受譯本的可以買麥田出版的《麥田捕手》XD(上圖右),譯文品質非常好(我讀過)。

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Dean 老師-

英語標準考試專家

字彙意象學創始者

 

Exemplary Credentials-

GRE: 333/340 (Verbal:165, Quantitative:168, AWA:4.0, 2015/11/07)

GRE V165、Q168 成績證明    

SAT:

2330/2400 (Critical Reading:780, Math:770, Writing:780, 2015/05/02)

2280/2400 (Critical Reading:790, Math:800, Writing:690, 2014/10/11)

SAT 2330、2280 成績證明    

SAT 2330 成績證明(答題明細)    

TOEFL iBT: 117/120 (R:30, L:30, S:27, W:30, 2014/08/16)

托福 117 成績證明    

TOEIC: 990/990 (2014/03/30)

TOEIC 990 成績證明    


 

學歷:Department of Dentistry, NTU

台大牙醫系書卷獎狀    

醫學院時期書卷獎Presidential Award, the NTU term for the Dean's List Award──證明 Dean 老師出身台大牙醫系

擅長輔導美國學校、歐洲學校及雙語學校學生和欲出國進修的大學生、研究生與社會人士

教學科目:GRE、SAT、托福、多益、雙語高中科目(數理及英語)

教學年資:17年


 

Unique Strength-

well versed in etymology (the study of the origin of words and phrases), having a sensible and systematic approach to building students' vocabularies

etymology

Style Summary-

a lively teaching style that appeals strongly and intuitively to students' imaginations

Facebook Page-

https://www.facebook.com/Verbal.Imagery.37

E-mail Address-

amidala6138@yahoo.com.tw


  

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解題文章網址:

https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/TOEFL_iBT/M.1466698769.A.523.html

題目:

It's not appropriate that students disagree with an instructor.

第一個示範音檔

“It is totally appropriate that students disagree with an instructor, because disagreement often makes discussions more effective.

For example, after explaining something, sometimes an instructor would ask his students, ‘Don't you think so? If one of them says no, the instructor would often go on to explain more-maybe like giving them an extra example-so he can convince his students. In the end, that student may be convinced and the whole class also learn more from the instructor.”

 第二個示範音檔

It is totally appropriate that students disagree with an instructor.

First, the instructor might in fact be wrong. If a student spots a mistake the instructor has made during class but chooses not to say anything just because students are asked not to disagree with an instructor, his classmates would end up learning something incorrect!

Second, a little challenge often leads to perfect instruction. When an instructor is contradicted by his students, he would usually expend more effort to illuminate and justify the truth. As a result, students get the most out of the instruction.

 第三個示範音檔

It is totally appropriate that students disagree with an instructor, because the instructor might in fact be wrong.

One time when our teacher was discussing logical reasoning questions with us, he said, This preMise is crucial ... I raised my hand and said, It's Premise, not preMise, Mr. Helmsley. He looked it up on Merriam-Webster.com right away and said, You're right, Dean. I'm so glad you corrected me. Truth is, a good teacher thrives on challenges from students. He continues to learn, even from his very own pupils-no wonder I remember Mr. Helmsley as a very outstanding instructor.

  


 

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TOEFL iBT WritingIntegrated Task,以 TPO 25 為例。畫底線部分為模板(template)架構。整合寫作的精神:力求事務性地直指核心──這也是我這個模板和範文所欲表現的。


 

The two texts deal with the question whether those excavated clay jars, each containing a copper cylinder surrounding an iron rod, were used as batteries at the time they were produced. The reading passage proposes three arguments to deny the possibility that they were used as batteries, while the lecturer disagrees with the passage, counterattacking the three arguments respectively.

 

First, the accessory issue. The passage mentions that no battery accessories, such as metal wires, were found, so these vessels must have not been batteries, since otherwise there should have been wires excavated with them to make sense. However, the lecturer stresses that it was some villagers, not trained archaeologists, that discovered those vessels first; since they were not experts, they might have overlooked, even thrown away, the seemingly insignificant wires. So the “absence” of the wires doesn’t necessarily justify that they never existed.

 

Second, the purpose issue. The passage points out that the copper cylinders in the vessels must have been used for the same purpose as those similar in structure discovered in a nearby city: to hold scrolls of texts. The lecturer agrees on the similarity part, but goes on to say it does not necessarily mean that the vessels could not later be adapted for another purpose, that is, serving as batteries. If you start off as a scholar, it doesn’t mean you have to be a scholar all of your life.

 

Third, the uselessness issue. The passage brings forth a question: what should ancient people do with these vessels, if they were used as batteries? There were no things relying on electricity at that time! The lecturer replies that the small electricity discharges from the vessels could actually be utilized by people then. For example, a man could use that electric shock to convince others that he had magical powers. Also, the mild discharges could have medical significance at that time; they could be used to treat patients.

 

template and sample essay by Teacher Dean

 


 

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